Hope

I am a shadow of your reflection in the mirror

I am what shapes you into who you are

I will break you then teach you to get back up

I will hallow your soul and harden your character

I am what pushes you beyond the limit

I will never let you down

Sunburns, whoop-lash, and heart ache

Let's go back in time...

Lets go back to when popularity didn't matter

Back to when we did everything together

Back to when we rated the joggers jogging by on the sea wall 

Back to endless sunburns because we hated sun screen; back to when we created 'potions' in grandmas backyard; back to when we'd walk down the big hill to the little creek to catch crawdads; back to when we found that hut in Kelly park out of old palm leaves, and called it ours

Back to when we were still friends

Back to when we were inseparable...

Now it's all different. You've lost yourself in the endless lies of magazines and school rankings.  You have become swallowed up within your own sorrow, and you've secluded yourself from everything and everyone; including me

You forgot to come see me the last time I visited. You forgot the time before too.

Now I've had to sit alone in grandmas backyard for hours on end

I've had to find my own way out to the sea; I've had to walk the sea wall alone

I never understood why you just stopped. It was so sudden. I left you letters, I waited for you. 

I am still waiting...

I'm thinking about you. 
I'm thinking about you like some artists think about math homework.

I'm thinking about you like the puddles think about the sun. 

I'm thinking about you like vultures think about leftovers.

I'm thinking about you like the sun thinks about other stars. 

I'm thinking about you like night thinks about dawn, and dawn thinks about dusk. 

I'm thinking about you like dogs think about cats, and cats think about mice. 

I'm thinking about you like fire thinks about ice. 

This post isn't about love.
It's about r e v e n g e.

The truth about love

Love is a ticking time bomb.
Some days it explodes
Some days it just takes patience;
Some days there's just no spark;  

White crayons

I've recently heard that the only use for a white crayon is to use it as a mini torch.

A mini torch that blazes with fire. 

A fire that is filled with brilliant colors of red, yellow, and orange. A fire that runs rampant through anything in its path. Almost like a child.

A child that is running rampant through the halls while holding crayons, gently pushing them to the wall, creating a magnificent blend of red, yellow, and orange.

I miss this. I miss the endless hours of littlest pet shops, pretzels, and Zaboomafoo. I miss Pauba Valley Elementary School with the outdoor lunch tables, and the sound of the palm tree leaves swaying from side to side in the Santa Anna winds. I miss the ladybugs, sea gulls, and blue-bellied lizards. I miss the hot and sweaty soccer games, the dandelions, and the honey bees. I miss bath time. I miss the summer dried strawberries and peaches. I miss hating my bedtime. I miss my big backyard with the giant dirt hill and the big brown fence. I miss the old life. I miss the 'white crayons'.

One of those great songs you wish everyone could hear

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When your too in love to let it go
But if you never try then you'll never know
Just what your worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down your face 
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Fix you-Coldplay 

What is being human

Logistically humans are made up of five different elements: 

• 3% Nitrogen
• 10% Hydrogen
• 18% Carbon
• 65% Oxygen
• 4% others

But this isn't the only thing that makes a human a human...

Humans have souls. Humans feel. Humans think emotionally and strategically. Humans create. Humans problem solve. Humans learn new things. Humans cry. Humans laugh. Humans love. Humans aren't perfect. Humans  discover. Humans work hard. Humans learn from making mistakes. Humans have to learn to accept. Humans need to forgive. Humans make hard decisions. Humans take responsibility. Humans are unique. Humans work together. Humans aspire. Humans imagine. Humans have character. 

I'm only human

To Anonymous,
  I love you, I want you to know that. Sometimes though, I wonder if you really love me? Why? Because out of the few times I have ever heard you say it to me, it sounds repeated. It's sounds as if it's lost its meaning.
  I know that I can be hard to put up with sometimes, and I know that I overreact. But I promise I am trying. I am trying to be the perfect daughter. I am trying to get good grades. I am trying to do my best-I am trying to make you proud! But you don't even care. You don't even acknowledge me.
   I'm sorry that I am trying. I'm sorry that all of the hard work I have put into you noticing me has just gone to waste, because all you notice is that I haven't unloaded the dishwasher yet. I'm sorry that my best will never be enough. I'm sorry that I am imperfect, and all you see in me are my weaknesses. I'm sorry that I'm only human.